Friday, October 17, 2008
Lately, as she walks to work, she is beginning to see more of a bounce in her step. She believes in everything: gods, ghosts, miracles, curses. But she believes that everything exists within our minds, or not at all. In recent years she has become lazy and permissive with her own mind, leaving her natural pessimistic ghoul unchallenged and free to rush about in a murderous frenzy. This horrible ghoul had convinced her of all sorts of retched untruths, like nothing ever changes, nothing is really worth the effort, anything she tries will not be good enough, and worst of all, that it is too late for her, that she has missed her opportunities and wasted her life. But lately, as she walks to work, she has been wittingly reaching out to her younger self in an attempt to recover; to rescue and reclaim. Lately as she walks to work, she is holding her shoulders a little higher than before; smiling at strangers; taking deep breaths; and beginning to realize the ridiculousness of this Ghoul’s ideas.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
i've been toying with this demented little excercise in my head recently, as i walk to work. you see, i've so very many wee ideas, and so very many wee worries pin-wheeling around in my big, blustery noggin, that i rarely make anything out of anything and spend a lot of time spinning about like a tether ball after the recess bell sounds. the older i grow, however, the more i feel a need to pick up my sticks and try to build a little something. and what i really need to begin such an endeavor is perspective. a pair of magic specs to help me see all the sticks and know which way to bend in order to lift them. which brings me to the afore mentioned excercise. i've decided to appoint myself the omniscient narrotor of my own story. to write and think of myself in the third person as often as possible. not a judgmental narrator, mind you, but a kind and gentle guide, like those nice old british men with deep, candied voices who narrated the children's specials i grew up with.
it seems a bit batty, I know, but i really think it may be benificial to my plight. i'll fiddle with it for a spell and let you know. if all goes well, my next entry will likely begin with "she".